The Unusual Beer Tale of
The poor little dwarf
among the seven
Snow Whites
The poor dwarf Alberto came from a beautiful, wealthy family – at least by dwarf standards. Alberto was the youngest and also, unfortunately, the ugliest dwarf. Alongside his optical flaws, the little man was also of an unreliable nature and, to make matters worse, constantly drunk. No one could stand Alberto, and only his birth father stood by him. However, one day, the father failed to come back from the mines, and when his mother married again after a year, his new stepfather wanted nothing to do with the poor little dwarf and came up with a plan to get rid of him.
One night, when the two of them met in an inn, the stepfather realized the time had come. He pretended to be extremely friendly and bought Alberto one round after another – but he only filled his own tankard halfway each time. When Alberto was so drunk that he fell asleep at the bar, the stepfather hoisted him over his shoulder, took him through the foggy night into the dark forest and abandoned the inebriated dwarf.
When Alberto came to again, he had the hangover of his life - he couldn't remember anything from the night before. "How did I get here?" the dwarf wondered and winced as the pain shot through his head again. The little chap wandered aimlessly around until he finally came to a small hut. Very carefully he opened the door and was absolutely amazed: had he actually found a little brewery in the middle of the forest? Inside, he saw a table with seven chairs and seven mugs. Alberto immediately smelt the fragrance of pineapple and passion fruit, all rounded off by pine and spruce. The wonderful odour was coming from the mugs on the table. To start with, he didn't dare move, but then it occurred to him: "Hair of the dog! That's what I need just now. A person just can't think straight with this headache."
And so, he simply took a drink from each mug, so that no one would notice. When he had taken his first seven sips, he was starting to feel a little better. The delicious brew tasted so amazingly good that he treated himself to another round from all the mugs. Now he had drunk himself into a proper state, as it were, and before you could blink, all seven mugs were empty. Little Alberto was so legless again that he fell asleep straight away.
Then the door opened and seven young women with snow-white skin, ebony-black hair, red
lips and tight leather bodices came in. "Who`s been drinking out of my mug?", asked one of the women. Angry at the thought that she had been done out of her well-earned after-work Session IPA, she and the others searched the brewery. Suddenly, they saw the little dwarf asleep on the floor. "No, you don't, you scoundrel!" the seven ladies thought, and chained up the little drunkard.
When he woke up again, Alberto couldn't move. One of the women bent down to him, cracked her whip and said: "You drank our beer, you ill-mannered, nasty little worm! As a penalty, you're now going to be our house dwarf and do all the work around the brewing kettles! You'll keep everything clean here, otherwise there'll be trouble! If you're a good boy, we'll give you an apple now again, and maybe one of our IPAs. And now – get to work!"
And if nobody's saved him, then little Alberto is still slaving away in the hut of the seven
beautiful – but very domineering – Snow Whites.
The End